The latest buzz word which i hear often these days is "busy". its either "i'm busy" or "i thought you're busy".
First, when will you say that you're busy? or how can you identify whether we're busy or not? My answer for that is plain and simple, when you haven't spoken with your friend for 'long time' (and the time-period for that 'long time' varies based on person to person). The reason for me to use 'friend', than any other relationship, is just because, you've the total freedom with friends, its neither a 'duty', which is the case with parents and relatives, nor 'mandatory', which is the case with your other-half or lover. you have the entire control over, when to talk to your friends, and also whom to talk, in that big list of friends. And all these absolutely out of your own personal INTEREST.
Well, just for a moment (tho i was observing about this one, for over some time, say about two months exactly ;) ), lets think of "how busy i'm?". In 24 hours, just remove 8 hours for sleep (and the time spent with your other-half), then 8 hours of work (this should be re-considered, but still lets have this 8hrs include chatting and moving along with other friends at work place.. but these days, this also includes lot of time of talking to your other-half or lover). So, remaining is a solid 8 hours, in which remove 4 hours for food and travel (roaming around or the time spent just for going one place to other). Then, 2 hours for 'duty' or 'mandatory' calls. After all these, we have 2 long hours daily, which is completely within our control, on how to spend that time. It may be for playing, reading, watching tv, etc, etc. But still, considering 2 hours daily, which accumulates to 14 hours a week (considering weekends also has a similar schedule, wherein instead of work, you spend in some other way, just as engaged as you're in work, so that you're not able to talk to your friend). Just wondering, in these 14 hours, cant we call our friend atleast once?? atleast say hi, hru, etc, etc??? ya ya. agreed to the fact that, you have pretty looong list of friends. but, i'm sure that, not all people are in the same level. We'll definitely have priorities for one over the other. So, cant we call atleast to them?? i think, WE CAN.
Finally, let me try to decode on, what makes us really 'busy' that we dont get time to call friends? (i hope you have read the mandatory above para, and hope you understood that we're really not busy) My answer to this question would be, just simply, because of lack of 'interest'. "Lack of Interest"!!!!!!! if you're wondering what that has to do with this, let me explain it little briefly. if you say someone as friend, there is something (or some quality) in them, which made you to be a friend with them. And also, you may have become friend accidently (not only love comes accidently, friendship too), but having an interest in talking to them, have kept that Friendship alive. So, Once that Interest gets affected, and it gets degraded, or if you have totally lost that interest, then You'll never ever get free time to call your 'friend', and you'll always be a busy bee to your friend. But, how does that 'interest' gets degraded or lost? I'll attribute this degradation to Two main things:
First and Foremost one is, "EXPECTATION"s. This is one big thing, and is the major cause for this degradation. We expect our friend to behave/react in someway, and our expectations are not met. degradation does not start immediately. once the disappointments gets accumulated, it slowly eats away all our interest in talking to the Friend. Also, there is another scenario, wherein, we expect our Friend to call us, and in the same way, our Friend wants us to initiate the conversation (basically, the so-called EGO, hidden shadow in each one of us). Ultimately, this tug-off-war continues, for ever and ever and ever. And one more thing is that, we expect or rather, we think that other person is busy and your friend thinks you're busy. here too there's a deadlock. i don't think your friend will ever get disturbed by your Hi. so, never wait for the other person, just go ahead and say Hi. (for all of you, a BIG 'Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii')
Second one is, our Friend's "ACTION"s. This is when, the other person does something, when we have no expectations, but that action somehow makes us feel little bad/sad. The one common thing which we can find in most of the person is, Talk with Friend ONLY when we need a favor from him/her. And when you realize that, the person you think as a Friend, talks to you only when she/he needs something to be done by you, it really makes a huge crater in that "Interest". you wont feel like talking to that person, with the same interest which you had previously before realizing that fact. And also, when you realize that the other person talks to you, just for the sake of talking, which otherwise will make a not-so-good name for him/her, not with any interest in talking. Though these actions from the other person reduces your interest in talking to him/her, in both the cases, its you who have to decide the next course of actions. There is this one other kind, called "Indirect Action", wherein, we just conclude that the other person is not interested, indirectly. examples may be, like not picking calls, no replies for 'many' msgs, or prepared for not talking to you, etc, etc. all these indirectly means the same. tho this may be temporary, it still makes considerable impact in the interest factor.
Whatever the reasons are, the point i want to make here is, Its just that Interest, which keeps the conversation going on, which fuels and keeps Friendship alive. So, never let anything to affect that little interest. And once that interest is always there, You'll definitely feel that, "I'M NOT AT ALL BUSY"
First, when will you say that you're busy? or how can you identify whether we're busy or not? My answer for that is plain and simple, when you haven't spoken with your friend for 'long time' (and the time-period for that 'long time' varies based on person to person). The reason for me to use 'friend', than any other relationship, is just because, you've the total freedom with friends, its neither a 'duty', which is the case with parents and relatives, nor 'mandatory', which is the case with your other-half or lover. you have the entire control over, when to talk to your friends, and also whom to talk, in that big list of friends. And all these absolutely out of your own personal INTEREST.
Well, just for a moment (tho i was observing about this one, for over some time, say about two months exactly ;) ), lets think of "how busy i'm?". In 24 hours, just remove 8 hours for sleep (and the time spent with your other-half), then 8 hours of work (this should be re-considered, but still lets have this 8hrs include chatting and moving along with other friends at work place.. but these days, this also includes lot of time of talking to your other-half or lover). So, remaining is a solid 8 hours, in which remove 4 hours for food and travel (roaming around or the time spent just for going one place to other). Then, 2 hours for 'duty' or 'mandatory' calls. After all these, we have 2 long hours daily, which is completely within our control, on how to spend that time. It may be for playing, reading, watching tv, etc, etc. But still, considering 2 hours daily, which accumulates to 14 hours a week (considering weekends also has a similar schedule, wherein instead of work, you spend in some other way, just as engaged as you're in work, so that you're not able to talk to your friend). Just wondering, in these 14 hours, cant we call our friend atleast once?? atleast say hi, hru, etc, etc??? ya ya. agreed to the fact that, you have pretty looong list of friends. but, i'm sure that, not all people are in the same level. We'll definitely have priorities for one over the other. So, cant we call atleast to them?? i think, WE CAN.
Finally, let me try to decode on, what makes us really 'busy' that we dont get time to call friends? (i hope you have read the mandatory above para, and hope you understood that we're really not busy) My answer to this question would be, just simply, because of lack of 'interest'. "Lack of Interest"!!!!!!! if you're wondering what that has to do with this, let me explain it little briefly. if you say someone as friend, there is something (or some quality) in them, which made you to be a friend with them. And also, you may have become friend accidently (not only love comes accidently, friendship too), but having an interest in talking to them, have kept that Friendship alive. So, Once that Interest gets affected, and it gets degraded, or if you have totally lost that interest, then You'll never ever get free time to call your 'friend', and you'll always be a busy bee to your friend. But, how does that 'interest' gets degraded or lost? I'll attribute this degradation to Two main things:
First and Foremost one is, "EXPECTATION"s. This is one big thing, and is the major cause for this degradation. We expect our friend to behave/react in someway, and our expectations are not met. degradation does not start immediately. once the disappointments gets accumulated, it slowly eats away all our interest in talking to the Friend. Also, there is another scenario, wherein, we expect our Friend to call us, and in the same way, our Friend wants us to initiate the conversation (basically, the so-called EGO, hidden shadow in each one of us). Ultimately, this tug-off-war continues, for ever and ever and ever. And one more thing is that, we expect or rather, we think that other person is busy and your friend thinks you're busy. here too there's a deadlock. i don't think your friend will ever get disturbed by your Hi. so, never wait for the other person, just go ahead and say Hi. (for all of you, a BIG 'Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii')
Second one is, our Friend's "ACTION"s. This is when, the other person does something, when we have no expectations, but that action somehow makes us feel little bad/sad. The one common thing which we can find in most of the person is, Talk with Friend ONLY when we need a favor from him/her. And when you realize that, the person you think as a Friend, talks to you only when she/he needs something to be done by you, it really makes a huge crater in that "Interest". you wont feel like talking to that person, with the same interest which you had previously before realizing that fact. And also, when you realize that the other person talks to you, just for the sake of talking, which otherwise will make a not-so-good name for him/her, not with any interest in talking. Though these actions from the other person reduces your interest in talking to him/her, in both the cases, its you who have to decide the next course of actions. There is this one other kind, called "Indirect Action", wherein, we just conclude that the other person is not interested, indirectly. examples may be, like not picking calls, no replies for 'many' msgs, or prepared for not talking to you, etc, etc. all these indirectly means the same. tho this may be temporary, it still makes considerable impact in the interest factor.
Whatever the reasons are, the point i want to make here is, Its just that Interest, which keeps the conversation going on, which fuels and keeps Friendship alive. So, never let anything to affect that little interest. And once that interest is always there, You'll definitely feel that, "I'M NOT AT ALL BUSY"
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